nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
