What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
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