Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
