he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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