Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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