I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
