At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
