im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have fence marks all over my body
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
