girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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