just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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