Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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