Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
