I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
