I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
