Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
