i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
