I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
