remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
