My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
