i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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