I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
