I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
