stop calling my apartment porn island.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Nobody cheats on THIS.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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