his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
