see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You can't motorboat a personality
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
