I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
