In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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