Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
