But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
