Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
