You really coming over, don't trick.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just found puke in my bra..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
