new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
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