this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
