Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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