Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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