You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
