That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
