Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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