guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
