when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
