you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
sex in a hospital.. check
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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