Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
