No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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