I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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