It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She's the barista slut.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
