We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
