On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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