4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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