Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
