Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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