your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
