Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
